The
Bitter Reality of Sibling Rivalry
The school summer holidays can and should be a fun time for the whole family but it can also be a time of disruption and difficulty for many parents with more than one child at home. Sarah Sadler, Managing Director at Organised Mum (and mum of two) believes that sibling rivalry is something that spans many generations…
And then there were two…
The transition between being a one-child family and the arrival of a second child seems to be one of much debate. Dr. Miriam Stoppard believes that the perfect age gap between siblings is two and a half years - when the second child is at an age where they can be reasoned with. This all makes perfect sense, in theory. In reality, reasoning with a young toddler can be extremely difficult, if not impossible. It is often hard to believe that so much personality can be packed into such a small body and it is important to remember that every child is different and reacts differently to the arrival of a sibling.
Let the games begin…
The main problem with sibling arguments is trying to find the right balance between adult interference and stepping back to allow them to find their own solutions. It really is a vicious circle because if you interfere too much, it ends up being you in the wrong and if you do nothing then you probably risk all-out war in your home which isn’t really the ideal scenario to live in.
Once in a while it is worth secretly watching how they behave together. It will give you a real insight into who exactly does have the upper hand in their relationship. In many family homes the law of the jungle is used with regard to sibling rivalry – the toughest wins, the kids develop a pecking order and (within the home) it’s peaceful, or at least it is most of the time.
Schools out for summer…
Certainly one of the most difficult times of the year is the school holidays. Siblings have to relearn how to get on with each other for extended periods of time – get used to each other’s traits and try to indulge in some give and take.
Planning activity week by week really helps as it means there is always an answer to “what are we going to do today?” Expecting your children to stay at home with nothing to do day after day is a recipe for disaster, but on the flipside having a strict time table that you can never waiver from will also lead to dissatisfaction, especially for younger children if they’re being dragged along to watch the older one swim or play football.
As I am sure most parents can relate to, a lasting thought that often comforts me during the moments of constant bickering is the speed at which a sibling argument can end and then they’re playing together again without a care in the world. It is amazing and makes me realise that these arguments aren’t important from their perspective and when all is said and done they are incredibly good friends.
About the Author
Sarah Sadler is the Managing Director of Organised Mum www.organisedmum.co.uk . A company she set up when her second daughter arrived as it became all too obvious that she needed to remember important dates and events. She also found that mundane problems like a car service needed careful planning with a newborn and a toddler in tow. As the children have grown Organised Mum’s range has increased to include a range of different planners, calendars, diaries and organisers that help busy mums to stay organised whatever age their children are.
TOP TUNES TO RUN TO
The cheesy Rocky theme tune has been voted the best song to run to according to a poll of marathon runners.
The school summer holidays can and should be a fun time for the whole family but it can also be a time of disruption and difficulty for many parents with more than one child at home. Sarah Sadler, Managing Director at Organised Mum (and mum of two) believes that sibling rivalry is something that spans many generations…
Eye of the Tiger by the American rock group Survivor was a huge hit when it was released in 1982 staying at number one in the billboard charts for six weeks.
The song - written on Sylvester Stallone's request for Rocky lll - beat other classics like Bat out of Hell and We Will Rock You to the finish line.
Runner-up was the 1979 Queen classic Don't Stop Me Now followed by the very apt Keep on Running by The Spencer Davis Group which reached number one in the UK in 1965.
Over 3,000 marathon runners took part in the poll by realbuzz.com, the UK's biggest health and well-being website which placed Chariots of Fire in fourth place.
Realbuzz.com founder Tim Rogers said: ''Eye of the Tiger is an archetypal motivational song - presumably because of its Rocky roots.
''It's important that songs you listen to when running have a strong beat and a rhythm that you can maintain.
''Keeping fit by running can have a very positive impact on how people feel about themselves and their lives, so keeping runners on their toes can have big benefits.''
Completing the top five running songs was last summer's Stronger by Hip-Hop's man of the moment Kanye West.
The track which samples Daft Punk's Harder Better Faster Stronger reached number one both here and in and the States.
Gonna Fly Now by Billi Conti came sixth in the poll followed by Proud by M People's Heather Small.
The Killers thumping rock anthem Mr Brightside made it at number eight, just ahead of the current smash hit Rockstar by Canadian band Nickelback.
TOP 10 RUNNING SONGS
1. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor (Rocky Sound Track)
2. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
3. Keep on Running - Spencer Davis Group
4. Chariots of Fire - Vangelis
5. Stronger - Kanye West
6. Gonna Fly Now - Billi Conti
7. Proud - Heather Small
8. Mr Brightside - The Killers
9. Rockstar - Nickelback
10. We Are the Champions - Queen
ENDS |
7.7 MILLION PARENTS UNAWARE OF CHILDREN’S VIDEO GAMES CONTENT
Metaboli launches family gaming feature dedicated to giving parents more control over when, what and for how long their children play.
New report commissioned by Metaboli reveals:
Parents are not always aware what computer games their children are playing – nearly half of parents admit to not always knowing the content of their children’s computer games.
Growing concerns over the time their children spend playing video games – 5 million parents are concerned about the amount of time their children dedicate to playing games on the computer
Playing computer games are a source of family tension – over 90% of families admit that their children fight over getting ‘their turn’
Parents want more control over the computer games their children play – one-fifth of parents would like more control and this desire increases as children get older with a third of parents with children aged over 13 wanting greater control
Despite concerns, families believe that computer games are useful for their children’s education – three-quarters of parents believe that playing computer games helps teach their children new skills.
A nationwide study published today by Metaboli, Europe’s leader in digital distribution of PC games, reveals that despite parent’s concerns over their children playing video games, 45% admit that they aren’t always aware of the content of the games. Parents with older children are less likely to know what their children are doing with 66% of parents with children aged over 11 admitting to not being aware of the content of their children’s games. A further 17% of parents across the UK acknowledge that they can find it difficult to monitor what types of games their children are playing and 29% are concerned about how much time is spent playing them.
For families with more than one child, 94% admit that children demanding ‘their turn’ on the family computer or games consoles cause arguments at home with an estimated 1 million parents owning up to constant fights over this issue.
However, parents are keen to allow their children to play video games with 72% believing that it helps to teach them new skills, and a further 27% thinking that it teaches them about the world.
The study was developed in association with Mumsnet and surveyed Mumsnet members across the UK. Following the report’s findings that parents would like more control over their chidlren’s use of computer games, Metaboli will be launching a first-of-its-kind tool to give parents control across all of their children’s PC gaming. The parental control function will launch across all of Metaboli’s platforms including their new chill-out gaming pack. The tool allows parents to set up each child with their own account on Metaboli and pre-select the games their children can play by the age certification, genre or on a case-by-case basis. Parents can also use the weekly calendar to specify when and for how long their children will be able to play to help allocate a fair playing time for each child thereby minimising arguments.
With increasing pressure on budgets, families are looking to cut unnecessary spending. With 14% of families admitting that they spend too much money on buying new computer games for their children, Metaboli’s subscription-based service offers an easy way for families to cut costs without cutting back on the latest games. The chill out pack costs just £6.95 per month and offers families access to over 200 family games with a new game added every week.
For more information on the parental control feature and chill out pack including the available games and calendar functionality, visit www.metaboli.co.uk.
‘BABY
BLUES’ FOR MOTHERS RETURNING TO WORK
Women reveal why returning to work after a baby is so difficult.
A new survey reveals that the majority of parents and parents-to-be
in the UK still feel that there are significant barriers preventing
women from returning to work after having a baby.
A new poll, commissioned by Sanatogen ProNatal, found that parents
believe inflexible working hours (77%)1, high childcare costs (87%)
and lack of family support nearby (68%) make it difficult for women
to return to the workplace.
However, it seems that it is not only practical concerns that put
women off. Nearly a third of women (30%) say that they lack the confidence
to return to work after having a baby and, over a half of all females
interviewed (58%), feel that unsupportive managers make returning
to the workplace hard.
The survey also investigated whether parents felt that they had been
well supported during pregnancy and, following the arrival of their
new baby. It found that:
- Three quarters (75%) of all people interviewed felt that they got
the most support from their family during and after pregnancy.
- Despite well-publicised media reports about midwifery services,
it seems that parents are largely happy with them - 52% of parents
saying they were well supported by their midwife.
- Surprisingly, more people felt that they got support from websites
than their individual family GP
The good news is that the results also show people are taking health
advice seriously and are making lifestyle changes, such as eating
a healthy balanced diet, giving up smoking or cutting down on alcohol
intake to help conceive. Over a third (36%) of all people trying for
a baby would take supplements to ensure they get the right nutrients.
It’s not easy to get all the right vitamins and minerals through
diet alone while trying to conceive, during and after pregnancy. Sanatogen
ProNatal is ‘with you all the way’ in the journey of having
a baby, producing the largest range of supplements to help you and
your baby benefit from the essential nutrients that you may need.
- Sanatogen ProNatal His & Hers: the UK’s first supplement
for both men and women to take before and while trying to conceive.
- Sanatogen ProNatal: a supplement containing 18 vitamins and minerals
including folic acid to help support the healthy growth of your
baby.
- Sanatogen ProNatal plus Omega 3: a multivitamin and mineral with
added Omega 3 to help support your baby’s brain development.
The Sanatogen ProNatal range is available from leading chemists and
supermarkets. For more information please visit www.pronatal.co.uk
1. ICM Research, 7th – 9th March 2008, GB adults aged 18-45
”
Mums with dyslexic daughters can now get free advice sheet.
Wednesday 21st May, 2008
Mums with dyslexic daughters can now get free advice sheet.
Dyslexic girls may not be getting “a fair crack of the whip”
when it comes to diagnosing their condition says one of the UK’s
foremost authorities on dyslexia.
The term dyslexia comes from the Greek for ‘difficulty with
words’. It is believed that one in 10 children has the condition.
Dr Peter Gardner, who is the co-founder of a specialist school for
children with dyslexia and related conditions, says there are many
girls whose dyslexia has not been recognised.
To help Mums to understand the particular problems facing girls,
Dr Gardner has launched a free fact sheet on the condition.
Dr Gardner says: “It appears to be likely that there are many
girls whose learning difficulties and dyslexia have not been and are
still not adequately recognised.
“The fact that many boys are referred because of reading/literacy
difficulties, is likely to be because of the way that they express
their frustration in an outwardly directed fashion, as contrasted
with girls who, tend to internalise their feelings to themselves in
class”.
"Parents naturally want the best education for their daughters.
They know that good literacy skills are the building blocks to educational
success and a satisfying career. But many parents are in the dark
about the special educational needs of their daughters - and how best
to help them because they are simply not being diagnosed with the
condition."
“All teachers need to be on the look out so that the literacy
problems of girls are not left undiagnosed and untreated.”
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Isle
of Wight Council News Release: PRIMARY SCHOOL CHILDREN ENJOY TASTE
OF 'ISLAND GAMES'.
Over 300 primary school pupils were given the opportunity to experience
what it is like to take part in a mini Island Games and Olympic style
event at Sandown High School.
Thirty six primary schools from across the Island converged together
on 12 July to form six representative “Island Games” teams.
Bay link schools from Sandown, Shanklin, Brading and Bembridge competed
as the Cayman Islands, Ventnor area schools chose Greenland, West
Wight area schools were Gibraltar, Cowes area schools, Menorca, Ryde
link schools were Rhodes and Ryde area schools represented St Helena.
In good weather the games started in a blaze of colour and music with
Greenmount Samba band leading the teams onto the athletics track for
the formal opening ceremony. Following the traditions of the Island
Games and Olympics each team was then individually introduced and
invited to march past to the 500 strong crowd and VIP’s that
had gathered to welcome the teams.
Over 100 volunteers and helpers were present to help ensure the event
and sport programmes ran smoothly. Every sport included a number of
highly professional young leaders.
Off the track, a 'Challenge Zone' was provided to give children additional
activities and information during the day. This included rock climbing
and an inflatable tennis court.
The sport of tennis meanwhile provided an excellent playing area of
8 mini courts for the children to play a round robin style competition.
The winner of the tennis event was Rhodes (Ryde Link schools). The
Basketball programme was very well supported and provided some exciting
matches during the day. In a very close final the Cayman Islands (Baylink
schools) just edged Menorca (Cowes area) for the gold medal.
On the track a very strong Greenland team for Ventnor proved too strong
across all events to win the Gold. The St Helena Island (Ryde area)
fielded a very strong team across all sports and won the remaining
3 sports events, Netball, Tag Rugby and Girls football to take the
overall trophy.
Isle of Wight Council Cabinet member for Children and Young People
Alan Wells said “The council is delighted that so many children
took part and were inspired by the event, whether it was the experience
of the opening ceremony, feeling part of a team or winning a medal.
The aim of the day was to bring a taste of the Island games and Olympics
direct to Island’s community and what better place than to engage
directly with our school children. The feedback has been exceptional
and I offer my congratulations to all those involved".
Lee Matthews, Community Development Manager at Isle of Wight Council
said "A huge thank you must go out to all the schools who provided
the teams and the helpers and volunteers who worked so hard on the
day to make the games so special. This will be an annual event, and
the council, along with dozens of primary schools, are already looking
forward to next year"
Issued By:
Simon Butler, Media Officer
Tel: 01983 823546
Fax: 01983 823109
Email: simon.butler@iow.gov.uk
[#RL-841:633517245370958750#]
Chancellor recognises need to protect separated families
- increasing the level at which tax begins to be paid.
In isolation, the removal of the 10p rate would have put further
financial pressure on divorced or separate parents who are not considered
‘parents with care’, and therefore considered ineligible
for child tax credit despite caring for their children for significant
amounts of time. The cost of care can be a considerable proportion
of income, particularly for the low-paid, and the removal of the lower
rate could have left some unable to afford to see their children.
Commenting on the Chancellor’s decision Jon Davies, CEO of
FNF said:
'Subject to examining the exact figures involved, we are encouraged
that, following our representations, the Chancellor has listened to
our anxieties, taken our suggestion of a more generous personal allowance
and that families already disadvantaged through the costs of shared
care and the child tax credit system will be supported'
Child's right to a father may be stripped away by IVF Bill
For Immediate Release –13th May 2008
- The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill could deny children
the right to know their father.
- Families Need Fathers (FNF) calls for MPs to
use their free vote to prevent fatherhood being further undermined.
The importance of a father’s role
is being diminished by the
Government’s plans to remove
the necessity for IVF clinics to
ensure that a child has a father
involved in their upbringing.
In response, a group of MPs have
tabled an amendment to the Human
Fertilisation and Embryology Bill which would require doctors
providing such treatment to
continue considering ‘the need
for a father’. The Government are allowing MPs to vote with
their conscience on the amendment,
to be discussed on Tuesday afternoon (May 20th).
Of the current proposals, which
would replace ‘the need for a
father’ with ‘the need for supportive parenting’,
Iain Duncan Smith said "This move by Gordon Brown has huge symbolic
significance. It will
not make any practical difference to lesbian and gay couples but,
if passed, it will send a dismissive message about the family
and about the importance of
fathers in the upbringing of children.
We should be including fathers in,
not including them out." Families
Need Fathers are concerned that
lawmakers have lost sight of the
child’s best interest, the paramount
principle in such matters, by
removing the right of a child conceived through IVF treatment
to have a relationship with their father.
FNF Chair, John Baker, said “We believe this proposal sends
out an extremely worrying message that makes fathers redundant in
the upbringing of children. In an environment where significant
societal problems are caused
by the lack of a father in a child’s
life, the Government should be making every attempt to consolidate
a father’s position, rather than
weaken it.”
- ENDS –
Families Need Fathers (FNF) is a registered charity providing information
and support
on shared parenting issues arising from family breakdown, and support
to divorced and separated parents, irrespective of gender or
marital status. Our primary concern
is the maintenance of the child’s relationship with both parents.
Founded in 1974, FNF helps
thousands of parents every year.
For comment or information please
contact:
Nick Barnard, Director of Communications
07979 206 384
John Baker, FNF Chair 07881 644 917
Jon Davies, FNF CEO 07976 935 986
Becky Sibert, Policy & Information Officer
020 7613 5060
Please see Families Need Fathers ‘programme for change’
Father’s Day Manifesto at
http://www.fnf.org.uk/publications-resources
/articles/fathers-day-manifesto
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